Maternal Instinct: Non-Exsistent

It's hard to comprehend the inner workings of my mother's diabolical mind or muse about her selfish ulterior motives. Undoubtedly, menopause has intensified her longstanding feelings of jealousy, clouding any remnants of maternal compassion.

Vibrant stories of her youth flash through my mind as I fix purposely on her abundant details of her perfect figure and bountiful social circle. The glaring signs, however, that point to the pitfalls of her romantic spins make me question the sincerity of them. At just 17, she gave up medical school and abandoned her newborn to her mother while she escaped to the United States to become a nurse.

Her anticipation abounded as the romantic visions of America were somewhat confirmed upon arrival. For years she lived a fantasy, making money, finding the man of her dreams and, giving birth to an "American baby" as she described me to her mother in a letter just a few weeks after that day in 1986.

According to my doting father, I blossomed into a perfect mixture of my tall, slim mother and my tan, white-smiled father. With the dwindling of my mother's superficial beauty, her self-obsession turned into wild jealousy...

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